Is There Such a Thing as a Good Fight?

fiDear Mr. Dad: My husband and I are happily married, but every once in a while we have a huge argument. There’s no violence, of course, but there is plenty of yelling and door slamming and some occasional name calling. He and I usually recover pretty quickly, but I’m concerned about the effect that our fighting might be having on our kids, who are 7 and 10. Should we be worried or will the kids get used to it?

Yes, you should be worried, and No, the kids won’t get used to it. Conflict and disagreements are a normal part of almost any relationship, but what you’re describing goes far beyond “normal.” It’s great that you and your husband aren’t violent towards each other. But research suggests that you may still be doing some serious harm to your children.

Children need to feel safe and secure in their home. However, when they see their parents engage in openly hostile conflict, they feel the exact opposite of safe and secure. Children in high-conflict homes have more emotional problems, are more aggressive, and are more likely to be depressed and/or anxious. The fear and confusion they feel as a result of long-term exposure to the stress and insecurity caused by their parents’ fighting can cause permanent damage to children’s brain, negatively affecting their memory and cognitive function and in some cases, leaving them with symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress. In can also take a toll on their physical health, leaving them more likely to get sick. And again, they don’t get used to it. Ever. In fact, over time, children become sensitive to the fighting and less resilient.
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Conquer Your Stress + Keep Calm and Parent On

Doni Wilson, author of The Stress Remedy.
Topic: Master your body’s synergy and optimize your health.
Issues:
How to analyze the sources of your stress and determine how your body has been affected; understanding synergy; how imbalances create weight gain, cholesterol problems, and more; leaky gut and how it could be compromising your entire system.



Emma Jenner, author of Keep Calm and Parent On.
Topic: Raising children by asking more from then and doing less for them.
Issues:
Manners and respect; boundaries and consequences; scheduling and routines; communication; self-esteem; trusting your instincts; quality time.

Mind-Body Medicine + Sittercity + Tutor.com + The Big Disconnect

[amazon asin=0143115510&template=thumbleft&chan=default]James Gordon, Founder and Director of The Center for Mind-Body Medicine, and author of Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey our of Depression.


Lauren Tarasewicz, Military Program Manager for Sittercity



Maureen Haney, Program Manager for Tutor.com for U.S. Military Families



[amazon asin=0062082426&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Catherine Steiner-Adair, author of The Big Disconnect.
Topic:
Protecting childhood and family relationships in the digital age.
Issues: How technology can put children’s development at risk; how tech is keeping children from forming close interactions with the adults in their life; insights and advice that can help parents achieve greater understanding, authority, and confidence when dealing with their kids and technology.

Psoriasis Linked to Diabetes: Risk is Highest with Severe Psoriasis; Men Need to Be Screened for Diabetes

November is National Diabetes Month and the roughly 3.75 million men in the U.S. with psoriasis—the most common autoimmune disease in the country, affecting roughly 7.5 million Americans—are at increased risk for developing type 2 diabetes. According to a 2012 study by University of Pennsylvania researchers, people with psoriasis—especially severe forms of the disease—have a […]

Psoriasis Linked to Diabetes: Risk is Highest with Severe Psoriasis; Men Need to Be Screened for Diabetes

November is National Diabetes Month and the roughly 3.75 million men in the U.S. with psoriasis—the most common autoimmune disease in the country, affecting roughly 7.5 million Americans—are at increased risk for developing type 2 diabetes. [Read more…]

Living with Prostate Cancer: It’s Complicated

I guess it’s part of the male provider-protector thing: A recent survey found that men with advanced prostate cancer worry more about burdening their family and friends than about dying. That’s only one surprising fact from a fascinating and sometimes puzzling survey called The Advanced Prostate Cancer Patient and Caregiver Burden of Illness Study. According […]