Military Family Friday: Positive Relationships with Kids + Reserves is More Than One Weekend Per Month

Photo credit: Catherine Lechner/Getty Images

Photo credit: Catherine Lechner/Getty Images

Taking the time and effort to prepare yourself and your children for the upcoming separation will be a challenge; there’s no question that we’re talking about one of the most stressful times of your lives. But as hard as it is, it can help you grow as a family.
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Photo credit: Alex Wong/Getty Images

Photo credit: Alex Wong/Getty Images

The Reserves and the National Guard are a great way for those who would like to serve in the military, but aren’t ready for full time enlistment. Some of your Reserve training will transfer directly to your civilian career and will make you a more valuable employee. The education benefits, which may include partial reimbursement for tuition and fees, can help you advance in your civilian career. And, of course, the extra pay helps with the household budget. Everything seems to make perfect sense. But, is there a catch?
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Mr. Dad Seal of Approval: Father’s Day 2015 Submissions Open!

Mr. Dad Seal of ApprovalOakland, CA: May 22, 2015 — Do you know of a great product or service that encourages dads and their children to spend more time together?

If so, the team wants to hear about it!

As one of the leading websites promoting positive parenting for dads, we’re pleased to announce that submissions are still open for the Father’s Day 2015 Mr. Dad Seal of Approval.

But hurry. As you can imagine, Father’s Day is kind of like our Christmas (although we have Christmas awards too), and we’re already receiving lots of entries. The deadline for submissions is June 9, 2015. We’ll announce the winners the week of June 14. You can find out more and get the application process started here.

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The Latest Articles for Military Families

I just posted a new batch of articles for military families on

This month I covered: the many ways deployment affects parents and children, strategies to help kids keep busy when a parent is deployed, understanding–and handling–rebellious teen behavior, how to make a temporary home feel like a permanent one–something many military families struggle with, and overcoming the challenges of long-distance relationships.

Please feel free to share these articles.

Dating for Dads

Dear Mr. Dad: I’ve been divorced for almost a year and I’m just getting to the point where I’m thinking about dating again. My kids (8 and 10) and I have a very close relationship and we talk about everything. But when I mentioned dating to them, instead of being happy for me, they were angry. Is there anything I can do to get them to be a little more supportive?

A: Close relationships between parents and their young children are wonderful for everyone. But occasionally lines can get blurred, which is exactly what happened with you. Your social life will undoubtedly affect your children—especially if you get into a serious relationship. But it sounds like you’ve given them the impression that their close relationship with you entitles them to an actual vote in the matter. It’s really none of their business. You’re their parent, not their friend, end of discussion.

Aside from the boundary issue, your children may simply not want to share you with anyone. It’s been just the three of you for a long time, and they enjoy having you all to themselves. Any time you spend with other people—whether it’s going out for a beer with a buddy or dating a woman who’s not their mother—is time you won’t be spending with them. You’re in a delicate spot here, but here are few steps you can take to get your kids on board (or at least to reduce their hostility).
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Overcoming Ignoring + Stop Saying “Yes” for the Wrong Reasons + Negotiation Generation

Guest: Amy McCready, author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time…
The revolutionary program that gets your kids to listen without nagging, reminding, or yelling.
Issues: Why it’s so difficult to get kids to listen; how giving your child more power, not less can end power struggles; effective ways to correct misbehavior and bring out the best in your children.

Adrianne Ahern, author of Snap out of It Now!
Topic: Four steps to inner joy.
Issues: Learning to understand—and overcome–the reasons people say yes to the wrong relationships, let anger lead them down the wrong path, fail at diets, and believe they aren’t good enough; making a quantum leap to a life of purpose, joy, and excellence.

Lynn Reeves Griffin, author of Negotiation Generation.
Topic: Taking back your parental authority without punishment.
Issues: How to influence your child’s behavior—without controlling it; predicting and preventing challenging behavior; letting go of time outs, grounding, spankings, and other punishments; teaching by example.

All Joy and No Fun: How Children Affect Their Parents

Jennifer Senior, author of All Joy and No Fun.
The paradox of modern parenthood.
Issues: How children compromise the autonomy parents have grown accustomed to; how children affect parental decision making, division of labor, and can strain a marriage; the true fun in having children is just sitting back, being passive, and enjoying kids being themselves; much more.