Daddy’s First Day at School

abandoned childI wrote this piece a few years ago, but recently came across it and got hit with the same wave of emotions that made me write it in the first place.

Last week, I drove my daughter a few blocks from our house, and abandoned her. Well, I didn’t really abandon her, I just took her to preschool. But it was my first time, and somehow, I felt I’d done something wrong.
When our oldest child was born, my wife and I arranged our schedules so we could spend as much time with her as possible. And for the first two-and-a-half years of her life, at least one of us was with her almost all the time. But as I sat in my car—having just dropped her off for her first day of preschool—I began to wonder what kind of parent I was, leaving her all alone with people I hardly knew. Would they read to her? Could anyone possibly teach her as well as my wife and I had? Who would encourage her? And who would love her? I was nearly overcome with a need to run back to the school, grab her, and take her home where she belonged.
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Overcoming Jealousy

I used to be the center of my wife’s universe. We had a great relationship, we did things as a couple, and we communicated all the time. Now that we’ve had a baby, I’m jealous of all the time mom and baby spend together and I feel left out. Not only am I jealous as a husband, but I’m also jealous as a father. Is this normal and how can I overcome my feelings?

First of all, it’s completely normal to be jealous of your wife’s relationship with your new baby–especially if she’s breastfeeding. But who’s really making you jealous? Your wife because of her close relationship with the baby and all that extra time they spend with each other? Or is it really the baby for coming between you and your wife, for taking up more than his "fair share" of her attention, and for having full access to her breasts when they may be too tender for you to touch? Probably both.
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