Grammar Mistakes, Part II: Which Weigh Do We Go?

more grammar mistakesDear Mr. Dad: Last week you wrote about a number of grammar mistakes that you find annoying. Reading through your column, those mistakes didn’t seem so bad. What’s the big deal?

As I said last week, English is constantly evolving, and that’s a wonderful thing. But no matter how much our language changes, we’ll always have to use words to get others to understand what we’re thinking. Grammatical errors sometimes make clear communication difficult. Here are some of the biggest offenders.

  • Dangling Modifiers. A modifier is a word that affects another part of the sentence. Separating the modifier from what it’s modifying often causes confusion. For example, in your statement, “Reading through your column, those mistakes didn’t seem so bad,” who was reading? I’m sure you meant that you were. But it sounds like the mistakes were the ones doing the reading. It’s better—and clearer—to say, “As I read your column, I didn’t think that those mistakes were so bad.” Dangling modifiers are everywhere: “The cops chased the robbers in their squad cars” (if the robbers are already in the squad cars, why do the cops need to chase them?). “We saw dozens of dangerous snakes and spiders on vacation in Borneo” (since when do snakes and spiders go on vacation?). Fixing dangling modifiers is usually pretty simple: “The cops got into their squad cars and chased…” or “While on vacation in Borneo, we saw…”
  • Uninterested vs. Disinterested. They sound similar but aren’t. An uninterested person is bored or simply doesn’t care. A disinterested person is unbiased or impartial. If you’re on trial for your life, you’d rather have a disinterested judge than an uninterested one.
  • 360 Degrees. One often hears about people who made “a 360-degree change.” They’re trying to say that their life changed dramatically, but making a 360-degree change means making a full circle and ending up right back where you started. To truly turn your life around, all you need is 180 degrees.
  • “Penultimate.” People use this word to mean something that’s beyond ultimate. But it really means “second to last,” as in “this sentence is the penultimate one in the paragraph.” This is the last one.
  • “Literally.” This word means, “Exactly as written or stated.” But people use it in place of “really, really, really,” as in “I was literally crushed when my girlfriend broke up with me.” The grieving ex-boyfriend doesn’t really mean that every bone in his body was smashed. Hopefully. The children’s literature character Amelia Bedelia is famous for taking things literally. When her employer told her to “draw the drapes,” Amelia picked up a pencil and paper and did a lovely sketch.
  • Homophones. These are words that sound the same but are spelled differently. There are literally dozens of them, and using the wrong one can distort what you’re saying in hilarious and/or horrifying ways. For example, putting your hands on your waist (the part of your body just above your hips) is quite different than putting your hands on your waste (your garbage—or worse). Your uncle would no doubt be very upset to find that he was married to your ant instead of your aunt. If you need to move a heavy object, a guy with big muscles would be a lot handier to have around than a guy with big mussels (the seafood). And if that guy with big mussels is broke, he may not have a cent (a penny)—but he probably has a scent (an odor). Other homophones include to, two, and too; way and weigh; flew and flue; road and rowed; and principle and principal.

 

Photo credit: unsplash.com/Pavan Trikutam

Grammar Mistakes: That Just Ain’t Right

grammar mistakes are commonDear Mr. Dad: A few years ago, I read a column of yours that talked about grammar mistakes. I thought you were overreacting, but it seems to me that they’re getting more and more common. What’s worse, schools are contributing to the problem, sending out emails and newsletters that contain basic errors. If the schools can’t get it right, how are our kids supposed to learn? Should I just give up or is it worth fighting for proper English usage?

A: Don’t give up. Please. English is under attack and needs all the help it can get. Just to be clear, I have nothing against progress. If you’ve ever tried to read Chaucer or Shakespeare, you know that our language is constantly evolving. The way we use words changes over time and new ones are always cropping up (the Oxford English Dictionary adds or revises the definitions of hundreds of words every year). Just a few years ago, had you ever of hangry (being angry as a result of hunger), selfie stick, emoji, microaggression, butt dial, fatberg, or manspreading?

Personally, I love that our language is always growing and developing. And I’m all for learning new vocabulary and usages. At the same time, like you, I find myself rolling my eyes and groaning when native English speakers make mistakes on things they should have learned in third grade. Sometimes the results are funny. Sometimes they completely change the meaning of what’s being said. Let me give you a few examples:

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Me and You, Part Two

Dear Readers: A few essmonths ago I devoted this column to correcting some of the common mistakes people make when writing. The response was overwhelming. Of course, a few people thought the whole topic was idiotic (I’d worry if everyone agreed with me all the time) but the majority of emails were positive. And many of you sent in your own pet peeves. One question that came up several times was, “What does this have to do with parenting?” Fair enough. The answer is simple: Being able to communicate effectively is a very valuable skill—one I worry isn’t getting the attention it deserves in many classrooms (and homes).

At some point, our sons and daughters are going to find themselves needing to write something important—whether it’s a 4th grade book report, a high-school term paper, a college admissions essay, a job application, or a critical whitepaper for the CEO. And while I don’t believe that usage errors—even those that change a sentence’s meaning or render it completely meaningless—indicate a lack of intelligence, they don’t make the writer look particularly bright. And “not particularly bright” isn’t a trait that’s in high demand. Anywhere.

 

 

Here, then, are a few more common mistakes, many of which were suggested by our readers.

Then vs. than. “Bill has more hair on his chest then Bob,” or “The beautician waxed Bill than Bob.” Both are wrong. “Then” relates to time (eat your vegetables, then you get dessert), while “than” indicates a comparison (the United States is bigger than Cuba).

Their vs. there vs. they’re. “There” is a place (we’re having dinner over there); “their” is a possessive (did you steal their silverware?; while “they’re” is a contraction of “they” and “are” (they’re calling the police).

Few vs. less. These two mean essentially the same thing, but they’re used differently. The rule is that if you can reasonably count whatever it is that you’re talking about, use “few.” If you can’t, use “less.” For example, “eat fewer meat balls and less salt.”

Disinterested vs. uninterested. If you’re disinterested, you don’t have a bias or an interest in the outcome (judges should be disinterested). If you’re uninterested, you have no interest, you don’t care, or you’re just bored (judges should definitely not be uninterested).

Advise vs. advice. Advise is a verb—it’s what you’re doing when you offer suggestions. Advice is a noun, the actual pearls of wisdom you’re giving.

Accept vs. except. To accept is to receive—advice, perhaps, or a bribe. Except draws attention to something that’s not included. (You might think of the x as EXcluding). For example, “The auction accepts donations of everything except live animals.”

Assure vs. ensure vs. insure. To assure is an indication of confidence, a guarantee (I assure you that all this English usage stuff is important); To ensure is to make certain of (please ensure that you turn off the gas before you light any matches); and to insure is to purchase insurance.

Flesh out vs. flush out. Flesh out means adding detail to something (imagine flesh on bones); Flush out is to chase something (or someone or some animal) out of hiding (hunting dogs flush ducks out of the reeds).

Flout vs. flaunt. To flout is to deliberately disobey a law or rule (like smoking in an airplane restroom). To flaunt is to show off (Bob flaunted his newly shaved chest).

Literally. “The tension was so thick you could literally cut it with a knife.” No you couldn’t. Literally means that what you’re saying next is not an exaggeration

Me and You Are on the Same Page

Dear Mr. Dad: When I was in elementary school, there was a much greater emphasis on English grammar and usage. I remember diagramming sentences and memorizing spelling rules. Does anyone do that anymore? My third grader—who goes to a very expensive private school—comes home with notes from his teacher (or school newsletters) that frequently contain grammar and spelling mistakes. I’m worried that our kids are going to come out of school completely illiterate. Is there any hope?

A: Depends on what you mean by hope. The English language is a living, growing thing—just think of all the new words and ways of using them that have crept into our dictionaries over the past few years: Green and friend are now verbs (as in “greening your home” and “I’m going to friend you”). And five years ago, had you ever heard of webinar, ecotourism, emoticon, netbook, or notspot? We’re never going to be able to stop our language from evolving—and I think that’s a good thing. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make an attempt to at least use it properly. People (and by “people” I mean “plenty of native English speakers”) make dozens of usage errors. Some are kind of entertaining, but others can actually distort what’s being said. Here are a few of the ones that drive me batty.
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