Love is Not Enough + More Love (Less Panic)

Jenny Lexhed, author of Love is Not Enough.
A mother’s memoir of autism, madness, and hope.
Issues: Coping with a child’s autism diagnosis; trying to find the best treatment among competing theories and approaches; the importance of taking breaks, getting enough sleep, and self-care.

Claude Knobler, author of More Love (Less Panic).
Lessons learned about life and parenting after adopting a child from Ethiopia.
Issues: The difference between influence and control; why worrying doesn’t help; how less than perfect may be perfect enough; learning perspective from a piñata and mushy food.

AdoptUSKids: An Adoption Option You May Not Have Considered

aWhen we think of adopting a child, the we usually think of China, Eastern Europe, and Africa. But did you know that there are currently 402,000 children in the U.S. foster care system? Or that there are more than 100,000 children in the U.S. under 18 who are waiting to be adopted? Either way, you can help by becoming a foster parent or adopting a foster child. And AdoptUSKids is there to help you.

AdoptUSKids has two main goals. First, to educate the public about the need for foster and adoptive families, second, to “support States, Territories, and Tribes in their efforts to find families for children in foster care, particularly the most challenging to place” (which includes older kids, those who are part of a sibling groups, and children of color).

Since the launch of the campaign in 2004, more than 22,000 children who were once photo-listed on the AdoptUSKids website are now with their adoptive families and over 35,000 families have registered to adopt through AdoptUSKids.

So what can you do?

Start by taking a look the videos and listen to some of the stories from adopted children and adoptive parents here:

For more information about adoption, or about becoming an adoptive parent to a child from foster care, please visit or visit the campaign’s communities on Facebook and Twitter.

The New Father – A Dad’s Guide to the First Year (3rd edition)

An indispensable handbook on all aspects of fatherhood during the first 12 months, by the author of The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be (Fourth Edition)

This essential handbook for all things first-year father is now fully updated and revised. Not only will new dads get a month-by-month guide to their baby’s development, men reading The New Father will learn how they change, grow, and develop over the first twelve months of fatherhood.

In each chapter, Brott focuses on What’s Going On with the Baby; What You’re Going Through; What’s Going On with Your Partner; You and Your Baby; Family Matters; and more. The latest research, as well as time-honored wisdom–and humor, thanks to New Yorker cartoons and Brott’s light touch–make The New Father indispensible for the modern father who doesn’t want to miss a moment of his child’s first year.

What’s new in this edition?

  • How technology is changing fatherhood
  • Changing definitions of fatherhood
  • Changes in the way society deals with dads—from changing tables in public men’s rooms to workplace flexibility
  • Research proving that a father’s love is just as important as a mother’s
  • How being an involved dad rewires a man’s brain
  • How changes in women’s roles in the family affect dads and their roles
  • Special concerns for: young dads, older dads, at-home dads, unmarried dads, dads in same-sex couples, dads in blended families, dads of kids with special needs, and men who became dads with the help of technology
  • The special impact dads have on girls and boys
  • Specific strategies dads can use to get—and stay—involved in their children’s lives
  • Updated resources for new fathersNot to mention new research and information on:
  • How to understand what your baby is telling you
  • Babies’ amazing abilities• Baby massage–they love it!
  • The latest on vaccinations and healthcare• And much, much more

You’re More Normal Than You Think, Part II

Dear Mr. Dad: After trying for several years to conceive the “regular” way, my wife and I decided to adopt. She’s super excited and has already started outfitting the nursery and buying baby clothes. I’d like to share her joy, but, honestly, I’m feeling a little depressed. Is there something wrong with me?

A: Nope, nothing wrong with you. Think about it this way. The time between your decision to adopt and the actual arrival of your child could be considered a “psychological pregnancy.” Of course, unlike a biological pregnancy, you won’t usually know exactly how long it’s going to take from beginning to end. But what’s interesting is that most expectant adoptive parents go through an emotional progression similar to that of expectant biological parents, says adoption educator Carol Hallenbeck. The first step is what Hallenbeck calls “adoption validation,” which basically means coming to terms with the idea that you’re going to become a parent through adoption instead of through “regular” means.
This might seem straightforward, but it’s usually not. Researcher Rachel Levy-Shiff found that for many parents, adoption is a second choice, a decision—like yours—that is reached only after years of unsuccessfully trying to conceive on their own and years of disappointments and intrusive, expensive medical procedures. Infertility can make you question your self-image, undermine your sense of masculinity (how can I be a man if I can’t get my partner pregnant?), force you to confront your shattered dreams, and can take a terrible toll on your relationship. That’s enough to depress anyone. If you’re having trouble accepting the fact that you won’t be having biologically related children, talk to some other people about what you’re feeling. Your partner certainly has a right to know. Even though she’s very excited, she’s probably feeling a lot of similar things.