Sex-Starved Dad: Don’t Get Your Hopes–Or Anything Else–Up

sex starved dad

sex starved dadDear Mr. Dad: I’m a new dad and love everything about fatherhood. But my marriage is fraying. Our baby’s birth was uneventful and my wife’s OB told us that we could have sex again after six weeks. He’s eight months old now and my wife and I have had sex exactly one time since the birth. That’s it. I’ve tried talking with her about this, and her response is that she simply has no sex drive anymore. I’m 27 and my sex drive is pretty healthy. I feel bad bugging her to do something she apparently doesn’t feel like doing and I don’t want our relationship to end over this. I’m trying to be as sympathetic as I can, but is it normal for women to lose their sex drive for this long after giving birth? Is there anything I can do to increase her sex drive?

The reason most OBs tell new parents to hold off on having sex for those famous six weeks is that it usually takes that long for the woman’s body to recover. But that six-week guideline can lead to unrealistic expectations, which in turn can lead to resentment and relationship strain. Sound familiar? The reality is that plenty of couples take as long as a year to get back to their pre-pregnancy and pre-baby sex life.

Here are a few of the many factors that could be putting a damper on your wife’s sex drive:

[Read more…]

The Secrets to Competitive Admissions: From Preschool to Gradschool

Kim Palacios, author of From Preschool to Grad School.
Topic: Strategies for success at any level of competitive admissions.
Issues:Three things all schools want; two questions you must be able to answer; crafting your story; the role of social media; application fraud and cheating; admissions consultants.

Acing Competitive Admissions + Eating Disorders + College Tuition Sticker Shock

Kim Palacios, author of From Preschool to Grad School.
Topic: Strategies for success at any level of competitive admissions.
Issues:Three things all schools want; two questions you must be able to answer; crafting your story; the role of social media; application fraud and cheating; admissions consultants.

Johana Marie McShane, coauthor of Why She Feels Fat.
Topic: Understanding your loved one’s eating disorder and how you can help.
Issues:Why what seems to family and friends as bizarre, irrational behavior actually makes sense to the person with the disorder; evaluating therapy vs hospitalization; the gender breakdown of eating and body-image disorders.

David Rye, author of Financial Aid for College.
Topic: Getting the money you need ant for the school you want.
Issues: Overcoming college tuition sticker shock; the difference between loans, grants, scholarships, and work-study programs; how to find little-known scholarships; federal and state grants.

“Please, Daddy, Please? Just One More….”

netlflix delay tactics

netlflix delay tacticsKids are natural—and often quite masterful—negotiators. “Please, please, please, just one more…..” Fill in the blank. One more story, one more piece of Halloween candy, one more game, one more minute, one more beer (oh, wait, that’s you). You could get hit with a “one more” demand at any time and at any place. But there’s one time when those stalling tactics flow especially fast and furious: getting ready for bed. And the plea is always the same: “just five more minutes.”

The justifications for those extra minutes are a carnival of youthful creativity. “I have a headache.” “There’s a monster under the bed.” “It’s too loud.” “It’s too quiet.” “I’m thirsty.” “I’m hungry.” “The sheets are uncomfortable.” “You forgot to kiss me goodnight.” “I forgot to kiss you goodnight.” “I didn’t finish my vegetables.” “I just heard the doorbell ring.” “I’m getting too big for this bed.” “The stars are too bright.” “My stuffie will be lonely without me.” “What time is it?” “What time is it in Timbuktu?” “I have to count my books.” “My fingernails are talking to me.” “I’m wearing the wrong PJs.” And on and on and on.

What’s most amazing about these excuses is that they’re probably exactly the same ones you tried on your parents. Seems a little odd, doesn’t it? In fact, if I were a little more paranoid, I might suspect that my parents had coached my kids on what to say, perhaps in a calculated way of getting back at me for pulling the same crap when I was little.

As parents today, we have access to one weapon to fight the “one mores” or “just five more minutes” ploys that our own parents didn’t have: Netflix. Wait, am I suggesting that we bribe our kids with videos? Kind of. But there’s a twist. Netflix and DreamWorks Animation partnered on a series called “Dinotrux 5 Minute Favorites,” and they’ve just released a bunch of new episodes.

So next time your little ones demand just five more minutes or just one more episode, take the wind out of their sails by reluctantly caving. “Okay, if you get five more minutes, do you promise you’ll go to bed with no more complaining?” “Yes, daddy.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, daddy.” Then all you have to do is resist the urge to say, “Gotcha, sucker!” Just click Play on one of the Dinotrux episodes and you’re golden. At least until they figure out some new ways of delaying bedtime even further. Hopefully, Netflix is on the case.


Disclosure: As a member of the @Netflix #StreamTeam, I occasionally receive product and free access to programming, but it would take a lot more than that to get me to recommend something that I don’t truly believe in.

Baby It’s Cold Outside—and It’s Only Getting Colder

Just because the weather outside has gotten a bit frightful, there’s no reason why the clothes you bundle up in can’t be delightful. Check out these snazzy layers (that will last more than just one season) from some of our favorite brands.

swainby half zip fleeceSwainby Half-Zip Fleece (Craghoppers)
When it’s cold enough to need more than a long-sleeve shirt, the Swainby half-zip fleece is just the ticket for the men (and teen boys) in your life. Soft, comfortable, and nearly impossible to stain (trust us—we’ve field-tested this), it also comes out of the dryer without all the ugly pilling that some fleece gets. And the classic styling means it goes well with just about anything. Oh, and it keeps you warm too. The high collar and elasticized cuffs and hem help keep that heat in. Too warm? No worries; that’s what the half-zip is for. $60 at


skipton jacketSkipton Jacket (Craghoppers)
When you need a little more than a sweatshirt—even a warm, fleece one like the Swainby—try Craghoppers’ Skipton Jacket. It’s water resistant, which makes it great for those snowy, sleety, rainy days. It’s also soft, lightweight, super insulated, and nowhere near as thick as you’d think it would need to be to keep you warm in 30-degree weather (which it does). It’s stylish enough to complement any outfit and to wear everywhere you go, and the satiny-smooth lining feels great up against your skin. It has both a zipper and buttons, and you can use either one or both together for added wind protection. To top it off (quite literally) is an attached hood. Two fully functional side pockets are big enough for your hands, a pair of gloves, keys, or your phone. About $180 at sites like

ice bug bootsIcebug Diana BUGrip boots (Icebug)
Sooner or later you’re going to head outside, where you may have to deal with cold, wet, icy weather. The Icebug Diana BUGrip boots are amazing in all those scenarios. Besides being nice to look at, they keep your feet warm and dry, and the BGrip outsole maintains a firm grip on the ground. These half-calf high, fleece-lined boots are good for tromping about on snowy days and keeping your pants dry, too. They’re zippered, which makes them easy to put on, and come with a front lace for easy adjustment. About $200 at or retailers like Amazon.


hi tec bootsSt. Moritz Lite 200 i WP boots (Hi-Tec)
Still got cold feet? Check out the St. Moritz Lite 200 i WP. That’s quite a mouthful, but these insulated, fleece-lined, water-resistant, boots will keep your feet warm and dry as you stomp through the snow no matter how cold it gets. And when you get back, these cuties with their faux-fur tops will have everyone you know asking where you got them. They come in black, brown, or gray and are odor resistant as well, so you won’t have to leave them outside the door to air out. About $100 at


naot vistosoNaot Vistoso (Naot)
Looking for something a little less “outdoorsy” but still ready for winter festivities? The Naot Vistoso will be your go to boot. Zipping up the side, these adorable ankle boots come with a Holiday-ready bow. They’re padded for extra comfort and have a memory foam footbed that molds to your feet, making them even more comfortable with time. Sturdy yet flexible, you won’t feel like you’re doing a balancing act when you’re out, and you won’t feel the need to kick them off as soon as you get home. About $200 at or other retailers.