Dear Mr. Dad: My 24-year-old daughter just moved back into my home, which I also share with my 80-year-old mother. She recently quit her job as a nurse and is working as a bartender instead. Many nights she doesn’t come home at all, and rolls in at 6-7 a.m. the next morning. I don’t ask questions—she’s an adult. But I have asked her repeatedly, just out of common courtesy, to let me know if she’s going to be out all night. First, this is so I can go to sleep and not worry every time I hear a noise. Second, her dog keeps me up half the night with his pacing and whining and won’t stop until my daughter gets home. Still, she refuses to let me know. How can I convince her to check in—for everyone’s peace of mind?

A: You said it perfectly: she’s an adult. And at 24, she should start acting like one—treating people with the same level of respect she’d like from any guest in her home. It’s perfectly reasonable to tell your daughter exactly what you wrote: that she’s causing you and your mother to worry and that her dog is keeping you up at night. If she’s going to stay out all night, she needs to a) let you know well in advance, and b) make arrangements for someone else to take care of the dog. It’s your house and you’re entitled to set the rules (and those are pretty easy rules to live by). You’re happy to host her for as long as she needs, but only if she’ll stop acting like an irresponsible—and inconsiderate—teenager. If she refuses to go along with the program, tell her she’ll have to find another place to stay.