When it Comes to Making Career Choices, Let Your Child Do the Driving

Dear Mr. Dad: My daughter just turned 15, and I want to start preparing her for the future. Specifically, I want to make sure that she’s on the right career path, whether than means going to college, trade school, or something else after she graduates high school. She’s only got a few years left, and I’m a little concerned that she doesn’t seem to have much direction. How do I steer her toward the right career choice?

A: As parents, we all want our kids to succeed in everything they do, from getting good grades to finding the right life partner to landing the perfect job. But parenthood is an ongoing lesson in the difference between control and influence. When our kids are young, we’re pretty much in control and we’ve got a huge amount of influence. As they get older, they take on more and more control over their own lives. We have influence, but a little less every day. And by the time they’re around your daughter’s age, we have almost no control at all, and whatever influence we still have is much more powerful if we wait until we’re asked to help rather than offering unsolicited advice (which a lot of teens and young adults will see as an attempt to control them anyway).
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Tips to Keep Your Teen Driver Focused on the Road

teen driving

teen driving

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports 3,328 people died in distracted driving crashes on U.S. roads in 2013. That number puts more than a few dads on edge when thinking about their teens getting behind the wheel, as it takes time and experience to master the focus needed to drive safely. Help your son or daughter by sharing information about common driving distractions as well as tips on how to avoid them.

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Myth of the Spoiled Child

Alfie Kohn, author of The Myth of the Spoiled Child
Topic:
Challenging the conventional wisdom about children and parenting
Issues: Parents are accused of being permissive and overprotective, unwilling to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail. At the same time, young people are described as entitled and narcissistic. But there is no scientific evidence at all to support these claims.

Being a Happy Student + Are Teens Really Narcissistic


Paula Franzese, author of A Short & Happy Guide to Being a College Student
Topic:
How to be your best self in school, at work, and in life
Issues: 10 reasons to be happy about school; guideposts to live by; how to assure success and significance in school; finding your career path, applying for jobs, and handling rejection; handling conflict or adversity; how to succeed in a class that’s boring.



Alfie Kohn, author of The Myth of the Spoiled Child
Topic:
Challenging the conventional wisdom about children and parenting
Issues: Parents are accused of being permissive and overprotective, unwilling to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail. At the same time, young people are described as entitled and narcissistic. But there is no scientific evidence at all to support these claims.

But, Dad, Everyone Else Has One…

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I have been debating this for some time but have yet to agree: When should we let our 10-year old daughter have a cell phone? She says all of her friends have one and, as far as I can tell, she’s right. I don’t feel that she needs one, nor do I think she’s old enough for a $400 piece of equipment. My wife disagrees and says our daughter needs a phone for safety. I’ve been holding my ground, but the pressure from wife and daughter is getting unbearable. What do we do?

A: Let’s start with a reality check. I’m betting that, despite what you’ve seen, not all of your daughter’s friends actually do have a phone. According to a recent study by the National Consumers League, only 56% of 8-12-year olds (“only” is a relative term).That said, as the dad of a 10-year old daughter, I feel you. Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all, black-and-white solution. Cost definitely figures in somewhere, but it’s mostly about maturity. Some 9-year olds might be able to handle the responsibilities of having a phone while some 14-year olds might not be.
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Teaching Teens Financial Responsibility: What Should They Have to Pay For?

The annual cost for the average couple to raise a 14-year-old in 2012 was $17,730, according to the USDA’s Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion. It cost $18,380 to raise a 17-year old that same year, and in a house with two teenagers and a 12-year-old, the annual cost to raise all three children rose to $33,590. How much of this financial load should teenagers be asked to bear? If you’re raising one or more teens old enough to work or drive, you might be wondering which expenses they should start paying for themselves. Here’s a guide to get you started.

Build on Your Budget

Approach your children’s budget as a reflection of your overall household budget. Financial advisor Elizabeth Warren advocates following a 50/30/20 budgeting policy: Each month, allocate 50 percent of your income to necessary expenses, 30 percent to discretionary spending and 20 percent to savings and debt reduction.

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