It’s entirely possible that I simply don’t understand women. Actually, it’s more than just possible—it’s almost certain. But can someone explain why some women feel the need to entrap men into relationships. One time-honored approach is for the woman to convince the guy that she’s pregnant. The hope is that he’ll be a stand-up guy […]
[amazon asin=1594204756&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Emily Oster, author of Expecting Better.
Topic: Why the conventional pregnancy wisdom is wrong–and what you really need to know.
Issues: Why it’s fine to have an occasional glass of wine; don’t worry about sushi–but wear gloves when you’re gardening; worry about gaining too little weight, not too much; why pregnancy nausea is a good sign; having a doula can decrease the chance of needing a C-section.
[amazon asin=0399535268&template=thumbleft&chan=default]David Swanson, author of Help–My Kid Is Driving Me Crazy.
Topic: How kids manipulate their parents.
Issues: Why kids manipulate; Learning to recognize 17 distinct types of manipulate and what you need to do to disarm them.
[amazon asin=0814474462&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Diana Peters Meyer, author of Overcoming School Anxiety.
Topic: Getting kids ready for school.
Issues: How to help your child deal with separation, tests, homework, bullies, math phobia, and other worries; telling the difference between normal start-of-school jitters and anxiety that warrants a call to the specialists.
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m pregnant and it seems that the more my husband and I read, the more confusing the whole thing gets. One “expert” says that I should stay away from any alcohol. Another says it’s okay. One says sushi could be deadly, someone else says it’s not. One says I should be careful not to put on too much weight, while another says it’s more dangerous to put on too little. And this goes on and on. Do you have any suggestions for how to filter out the myths from reality?
A: The amount of pregnancy-related information out there is staggering. And, as you’ve discovered, everyone seems to have an opinion on what’s good, bad, healthy, or dangerous. Unfortunately, as you’ve also discovered, it’s really hard to figure out who’s right and who’s completely full of it. Fortunately, there are a few resources that can help.
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m very concerned about my husband. We’re just a month away from our due date and although he has been very involved and attentive throughout the pregnancy, in the last couple of weeks he’s becoming more and more withdrawn. He seems annoyed with me a lot, and when I try to get him to talk about his fears and anxieties as an expectant father, all he says is that he has them. That’s it. Will I ever get my old husband back again or am I going to be in this thing alone?
A: What you’re going through is pretty common. That doesn’t make it any easier, but sometimes it’s comforting to know that you’re not alone. It may also help you to know that there’s a very good chance that your husband will return to normal fairly soon after the baby arrives.
As some of you may know, we’ve started turning the content from my bestselling books (waaaay more than a million copies sold!) into great apps for dads. The first one, “Mr. Dad on Pregnancy,” is based on The Expectant Father and in just three months has had more than 15,000 downloads. You can get that app–at no charge–in the Apple App Store by clicking here. “Mr. Dad on Pregnancy” is a fun, interactive, and entertaining way for dads-to-be and their partner to learn everything they need to know about pregnancy and childbirth. It’s the perfect Father’s Day present.
But that’s not all…
Keep an eye out for two new apps for dads: “Mr. Dad on Babies” (which is based on the sequel to The Expectant Father, The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year) and “Mr. Dad on Military Dads” (which is based on The Military Father: A Hands-on Guide for Deployed Dads). We’re hoping to have both out before Father’s Day.
Please contact us if you’re interested in in-app advertising or sponsorships. The rapidly growing audience for our apps for dads is extremely targeted. Every player is a guy who truly wants to be an actively involved father–and he’ll be looking for tools, resources, and yes, products to help him achieve that goal.
Two of the most cherished parts of becoming a modern father—witnessing the birth of his baby and cutting the umbilical cord—are coming under attack.
In the first case, researchers at Oxford University found that some dads who witnessed life-threatening, traumatic, or especially complicated labors and births were more affected by what they’d seen than the women who actually went through it. So affected, in fact, that they were diagnosed with PTSD, a condition that’s usually associated with combat veterans or people who’ve undergone major trauma—exactly what a lot of these new dads have done.
Now, before you scoff, consider a typical emergency scenario (if there is such a thing) where the modern father is suddenly faced with an unconscious, bleeding wife, abruptly pushed out of the way by medical staff, and left alone outside an operating room with little or no information about her fate or that of the baby, fearing the worst and not being able to help. “For the dads, it’s extremely vivid because they are fully aware of what’s going on” said As lead researcher Professor Marian Knight put it in an interview with Britain’s Independent newspaper. “Many of these emergencies involve severe bleeding… “Often, we’re running around trying to save mum’s life, but we need to be thinking about dads as well.”
Now, on to the cord cutting–another staple of modern fatherhood. Not to worry, dads, you’ll still be able to do it. But experts are suggesting that you wait until the cord stops pulsating. The reason, say doctors in England, is that up to a third of the baby’s blood supply is still in the umbilical cord and placenta and cutting the cord immediately could lower the baby’s iron levels for as long as six months. Iron levels have been linked in some research with brain development. By waiting for 30 seconds to five minutes, you’ll be ensure that your baby’s tank has been fully topped off. There are some medical conditions that require that the cord be cut immediately.
If you’re interested in delaying the cord cut for a few minutes after the birth, talk it over with the nursing staff and doctors early. But be flexible. If they feel it needs to be done sooner, do it. If you’re intrigued by the idea of waiting, you might also want to check out what’s being called lotus births (Google it), where the umbilical cord doesn’t get cut for as long as 10 days. Sounds a little extreme to me, but some new-agey moms swear by it. Definitely not for everyone. But I suppose as long as it isn’t dangerous, it’s okay.