My own father is an alcoholic and we’ve always had a pretty rocky relationship–especially when I was growing up—and I think he’s a horrible role model for how to parent. I’m scared to death that I’m going to turn out be the same kind of father that he was. Am I doomed? Are my children doomed because I didn’t have a positive role model for a dad?
Not at all. Most dads, as they grow and develop as fathers often find themselves spending a lot of time thinking about their own fathers. And they tend to ask themselves the same kinds of questions you asked yourself: Was my dad someone I’d want to use as a role model, or was he exactly the kind of father I don’t want to be? Did he support me and nurture me when I was a kid myself, or was he absent or abusive? Like it or not, the relationship you had with your father when you were young is going to have some influence on your relationship with your own children.