Infertility: Not for Women Only

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for two years. Both of us have undergone lots of testing but the doctors still don’t know what the problem is. Throughout all of this, dozens of people—mostly friends and family, but also doctors, nurses, lab techs, and others—have come up to me and either offered some kind of advice, asked how my wife is doing, or told me what I need to do to support her. This whole process has been extremely stressful, and both my wife and I are emotionally devastated, but not a single person has asked how I’m doing. I’m getting really angry about being ignored and I’m trying to keep from biting someone’s head off. How should I respond?
A: Just a few decades ago, infertility was considered to be the woman’s “fault.” But today, experts know that it’s more evenly split. About 40% of the time, the cause can be traced to the woman; 40% of the time it’s traced to the man; and the remaining 20% is “unexplained.” Still, because the pregnancy would happen inside the woman’s body, society assumes that women are the only ones affected by infertility. The fact that men experience stress or grief or might be “emotionally devastated” by the shattering of their hopes and dreams rarely occurs to anyone.
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Bringing in Finn


Sara Connell, author of Bringing in Finn.
Topic:
An extraordinary surrogacy story.
Issues: One woman’s story of the tragedy and heartbreak of infertility and losing pregnancies, and the process of opening her heart and mind to the idea of her 60-year old mother carrying her child for her.

Parents report same well-being but more emotions | Futurity

Parents report same well-being but more emotions | Futurity.

Mothers Who Can’t Love

[amazon asin=0062204343&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Susan Forward, author of Mothers Who Can’t Love.
Topic:
A healing guide for daughters
Issues: The old cliche says that women marry their fathers–turns out, they marry their mothers; five types of mothers who can’t love: (severely narcissistic, overly enmeshed, control freak, mothers who need mothering, mothers who betray and neglect); recognizing the links between past and present–and how to make lasting changes.

Healing from Bad Mothering + Army Mental- and Physical Fitness + The General’s Kids

[amazon asin=0062204343&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Susan Forward, author of Mothers Who Can’t Love.
Topic:
A healing guide for daughters
Issues: The old cliche says that women marry their fathers–turns out, they marry their mothers; five types of mothers who can’t love: (severely narcissistic, overly enmeshed, control freak, mothers who need mothering, mothers who betray and neglect); recognizing the links between past and present–and how to make lasting changes.

Command Chief Warrant Officer, Phyllis Wilson, talks about mental and physical fitness in the Army Reserve



Jacqueline Goodrich, founder of The General’s Kids


Finding the Truth behind the Headlines

statistics

Dear Mr. Dad: Like you, I enjoy reading about new research findings in health and parenting. But I get really frustrated when what’s in the headlines isn’t always what’s in the actual research. How can I find the truth?

A: You’ve hit on one of my biggest pet peeves. As Mark Twain said about 100 years ago, “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” You can find a study to support just about anything you believe. And if you can’t, statistics are easy to manipulate, massage, shoehorn, and just plain distort. Here are a few examples.
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