My wife just had a miscarriage. I’m trying to be as strong and supportive as I can but it’s affected me too. I wanted to be a dad so badly, and my wife really wanted to be a mom. We are both devastated. I want to talk to someone about what I’m going through but I’m feeling guilty about not focusing completely on my wife. What can I do?
Miscarriages, like the pregnancies they end, have almost always been thought of as having an emotional impact only on women. But this simply isn’t true. There’s no question that men don’t suffer the physical pain of a miscarriage, but our emotional pain can-and often is-as severe as women’s. Expectant dads, like expectant moms, have hopes and dreams and fantasies about their unborn children, and most of us feel a profound sense of grief when those hopes and dreams and fantasies are dashed. And like our wives, most men feel inadequate and guilty when a pregnancy ends prematurely.