According to the US Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), about 25 percent of vets returning from the recent conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq are suffering from PTSD. That’s about 500,000 veterans. If we include family members, that number more than doubles. Not surprisingly, returning veterans—particularly those with PTSD—have a higher divorce rate than non-veterans. And […]
Dear Mr. Dad: A few months ago, my husband got back from his 3rd Army deployment—two in Iraq, one in Afghanistan. He’s been diagnosed with PTSD and is getting treatment. But I’m worried that his condition is somehow rubbing off on the rest of the family. Our children are having problems in school, I’m finding myself on edge and agitated all the time, and my temper seems to be getting shorter by the minute. I used to think that if we survived three deployments we could survive anything. But now I’m not so sure. What can I do?
A: First, I want to thank you, your husband, and your kids for your service. What you’re writing about is, sadly, getting more and more common. According to the US Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), about 25 percent of vets returning from the recent conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq are suffering from PTSD. That’s about 500,000 veterans. If we include family members, that number more than doubles.
Terri Barnes, who writes the “Spouse Calls” column for Stars and Stripes, just did a very nice profile of me. We talked about my work with dads in general and, more specifically, with military dads. Read on…
Published: January 22, 2013
Armin Brott isn’t an active duty Marine anymore, but as a father, veteran, writer and radio personality, he is still fighting the good fight. He said he wages an “ongoing battle” to convince men that fathering is as important as mothering.
“Dads and moms do things differently,” he said. “We have this idea that moms are better, but we’re just different.”
Brott is the author of several parenting books, including “The Military Father,” and is the host of “Positive Parenting” on American Forces Network radio. A shorter version, for civilian audiences, has been on the air for about 17 years. For the past two years, Brott has been producing a second segment for AFN focusing more on military family issues.
As a veteran, Brott sympathizes with active duty fathers and their challenges. Deployment and other extended separations can undermine a military father’s confidence in his role, which makes rejoining his family harder than it already is, Brott said.
“A great part of a man’s identity is feeling loved and needed by his family. If [men] don’t feel needed and we don’t feel wanted, then what’s the point?” he said. [Read more…]
[amazon asin=1937134180&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest: 1: Vicki Hoefle, author of Duct Tape Parenting.
Topic: A less-is-more approach to raising respectful, responsible, resilient kids.
Issues: Why helicopter mothers and fathers are bad for kids; why it’s important for moms and dads to sit on their hands and stay on the sidelines so that children can step up, solve their own problems, and develop life-long confidence.
[amazon asin=030739543X&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 2: Barbara Probst, author of When the Labels Don’t Fit/
Topic: A new approach to raising a challenging child.
Issues: Discovering your child’s essential nature and temperament; respecting your child’s inner world; changing the way you think, talk, and respond; knowing when and how to help; taking care of yourself.
[amazon asin=0965748375&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 3: Karen Pavlicin, author of Life After Deployment.
Topic: How military families prepare for, cope with, and survive deployment.
Issues: Types of deployment; emotional and psychological stages of deployment; ways to keep in touch across time and distance; the effects of deployment on the soldier, spouse, and children; keeping reasonable expectations when coming home.
One of those why-didn’t-anyone-think-of-that-before moments. Never goes flat and can take a 50 cal round and keep on truckin’.