I Know You Love Me, But I Need to Hear The Words

Dear Mr. Dad: My dad is an engineer and has always looked at the world in a very logical, no-feelings-allowed, Mr. Spock kind of way. I guess that’s just his style. The problem is that I don’t think he’s ever told me that he loves me. He’s always been a great dad and I have no doubt that he does love me. But as I get older—I’m nearly thirty—I start second-guessing myself and I really need to hear the words. I tell my kids all the time that I love them. Why won’t he tell me? Do you think he ever will?

A: Whenever I get an email like this, I’m nearly overcome with sadness. It’s tragic that your dad has never told you that he loves you. But I’m encouraged that he’s found other ways to get the point across and that you’ve gotten the non-verbal message. That still leaves your questions. Going in reverse order, yes, I think he will tell you, but it may take a little work on your part. As to why he hasn’t said those three magic words, there are quite a few explanations.

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Technology Will Never Replace Dad’s Love

Came across this wonderful video from Thailand. Get ready to do a little tear-wiping.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152487010134020

Healing from Bad Mothering + Army Mental- and Physical Fitness + The General’s Kids

[amazon asin=0062204343&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Susan Forward, author of Mothers Who Can’t Love.
Topic:
A healing guide for daughters
Issues: The old cliche says that women marry their fathers–turns out, they marry their mothers; five types of mothers who can’t love: (severely narcissistic, overly enmeshed, control freak, mothers who need mothering, mothers who betray and neglect); recognizing the links between past and present–and how to make lasting changes.

Command Chief Warrant Officer, Phyllis Wilson, talks about mental and physical fitness in the Army Reserve



Jacqueline Goodrich, founder of The General’s Kids


Ending Daily Battles with Your Kids + Single Mothers Dating + Like the Child You Love

[amazon asin=0142196924&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Noel Janis-Norton, author of Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting.
Topic:
Five strategies that end daily battles and get kids to listen the first time.
Issues: A step-by-step plan that will help you raise a child who is cooperative, considerate, confident, and self-reliant. The five strategies are: descriptive praise, preparing for success, reflective listening, never ask twice, and rewards and consequences.


[amazon asin=0465018947&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Rachel Lehmann-Haupt, author of In Her Own Sweet Time.
Topic:
Finding love, commitment, and motherhood as a single woman
Issues: Testing your fertility and what the results show about your ability to conceive; what it’s really like to search for a sperm donor; how to date while still thinking about motherhood; the joys and challenges of becoming a single mother by choice.


[amazon asin=B002F082A8&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Jeffrey Bernstein, author of Liking the Child You Love.
Topic:
Build a better relationship with your kids even when they’re driving you crazy.
Issues: Taming the most common toxic thought patterns that stop us from parenting effectively, including the “always” or “never” trap, seething sarcasm; emotional overheating; “should” slamming, and dooming conclusions.

Soul Mates: Expanding Your Possibilities

I remember reaching my fiftieth birthday.  I’d relocated to theSan Diegoarea, was single again, and broken-hearted. I so wanted to be with my “soulmate,” and each time I fell in love, I was sure he was “the one.” Now I’d reached “the big 5-0,” and another relationship had ended, leaving me baffled, unsettled, despairing.  After […]

The Tolerator: Is This Your Style Of Relating To Your Partner?

“I love you just the way you are…” croons this lover to the live-in partner who has just tracked in mud again on the new Berber carpet, and rear-ended a parked car trying a new paralleling maneuver. “Love me, love my shortcomings,” swoons the “Tolerator” partner. Their theme song echoes the ideal of unconditional love […]