Initiating a Divorce: The Proper Steps, Part 2

In the first part of this article, we talked about the importance of separation from your soon-to-be-ex, working with an attorney, and keeping your spouse in the loop on what’s happening. Now we continue with the next steps in the process.

It’s Time for Negotiations

The negotiations can quickly become the most overwhelming part of your divorce. In most cases, a trial is set for a year away, and you’ll need to participate in a temporary hearing to establish child custody and support issues. From requesting exclusive use of the marital home and temporary custody of minor children to who gets the car, everything will be covered.

What Happens if You Can’t Agree?

If at this point you cannot agree, the attorneys involved may submit your issues in question to the Judge during what is known as a pretrial conference. Pretrial conferences are held in the Judge’s chamber, and both of your attorneys will need to be present.

Your attorney will present their position to the Judge, and the Judge will make an educated recommendation for settlement. It’s important to remember that the Judge’s pretrial recommendations are not set in stone, but they’re a sign as to how the Judge thinks the case should be settled. In most cases, the pretrial conference is the greatest motivation for agreeing on a final settlement without needing to prepare for a full trial.

The Final Step

Once you’ve made it into the divorce court, it can become ugly in no time at all. Your attorney’s job is to win the case for you. Are you worried about a jury? Don’t be. Most divorce trials are held with only a Judge present. Once you get through the part where you promise to tell the truth, things take a serious turn. You’ll have to settle on the entitlement to divorce, child custody/visitation rights, distribution of property, child support, spousal support, and much more. Of course, if you don’t have children, you only have to worry about a few of these things. If your spouse isn’t happy about the results, they possess the right to appeal. If the Judge grants the appeal, it’s back to the courthouse to start over.

Divorce is Not for the Faint-hearted

Divorce isn’t easy, but no one ever said it was. If you think divorce is the only option you have in your marriage, be sure to prepare yourself for a year-long battle. While you and your spouse may not disagree on a lot of things, divorce has a way of bringing out the worst in anyone. Choose your stance wisely, and make sure you get what you deserve.

Response to my column on abortion not being just a women’s issue

This thoughtful article is from National Right to Life News Today. The author and I are probably pretty far apart politically on the core issues, but it’s nice to see that it’s possible to disagree and still have a reasonable, respectful discussion.

As if we needed to be told: abortion is not just a woman’s issue

By Dave Andrusko

The McClatchy-Tribune News Service columnist calls what he writes, “Ask Mr. Dad,” and earlier this week the headline on Armin Brott’s column was “Abortion not just a woman’s issue.” Needless to say, that caught my attention.

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Regaining Your Parental Authority

Dear Mr. Dad: Our 12-year-old daughter does well in school but apparently hates us as parents. She never speaks kindly to us, refuses any kind of parental authority, and insists that “no one can tell me what to do.” She is very interested in boys and has been involved in “kissing sessions” on a school outing. We’re just about at the end of our rope. Is there anything we can do?

A: I can certainly see why this situation is upsetting you, and you’re absolutely right to be concerned. Teenagers are notoriously defiant of parental authority, but at twelve, your daughter is still a “tween,” far too young to be engaging in the kind of behavior you describe.
There are a few steps you should take right away, before her behavior becomes even more inappropriate, or starts posing a danger to her health and safety. First on the list is to ask the principal of her school why “kissing sessions” were allowed during a school outing. Where was the supervision? As far as I’m concerned, this is absolutely inexcusable and everyone involved should be held accountable.
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