Apr 09 2011

A father’s unconditional love

What an incredibly inspiring story…

April 8, 2011

BREMERTON, Wash. — Christopher Cady knows a thing or two about the Navy. He’s an active duty sailor working in the priority materials office.

He also knows a thing or two about fatherhood, about the unconditional love of a dad for a son.

Cady is a single father. His son, Joshua, has been dealt a pretty tough hand. The boy was born with congenital cytomegalovirus.

Cady doesn’t know how much his 11-year-old son understands, how long he’ll have him to love.

“I like to do as much as I can with him and cherish every moment with him, because I don’t know how many more there will be,” he said.

He has the help of a nurse for chunks of the day, so he can sleep and work. The rest of the time, it’s just father and son, doing the best they can.

“I’m Joshua’s arms, legs and voice,” Cady said. “I have to do everything for him, you know?”

Cady was one of 600 entries for the Military Fatherhood Award, which covers all branches from all states. He has made it to the final three.

Cady has become a strong advocate for special needs parents. He’s involved in the Washington State Fathers Network, and says he draws strength from it.

Josh loves to have his head rubbed. The smile gives him away every time.

The kid’s had a rough go of it, and the future is a question mark. But in the dad department at least, the boy really lucked out.

“I just love every minute I can get with him,” said his father.

The original story appeared here.

posted in Fathers

Mar 07 2011

Me and “Due Date”

Parenting specialist and author “Mr. Dad” shares his thoughts on Due Date, the R-rated comedy about a first-time father (Robert Downey Jr.) and his bearded test baby (Zach Galifianakis).

By CRAIGH BARBOZA

Source: MyDVDInsider.com

Armin A. Brott, who supplies our commentary on Due Date, has been hailed as the “superdad’s superdad” by Time magazine. Does he have a nightmare story similar to the hit comedy in which an uptight dad-to-be (Robert Downey Jr.) and a pot-smoking rube (Zach Galifianakis) with a masturbating French bulldog are thrown together for a disastrous road trip? “No, I can’t say I have one to rival the movie,” he says, with a laugh. “All three of my children’s births were relatively normal. There was, however, one C-section that scared the crap out of me because all of a sudden I was booted out of the delivery room and I had to watch through a glass door. I guess in a way it was similar to what Due Date’s director Todd Phillips (last year’s The Hangover) tries to do with Downey’s character. For a lot of first-time dads, there’s a bit of fear that you’re not going to be there for the birth, you know? There’s this feeling of, ‘I’m not going to make it!’ ”

Brott, whose book “The Expectant Father” (his first of eight bestsellers) described the emotional, financial and even physical changes men experience during pregnancy, started writing in 1992, inspired by the dearth of parenting resources for men. “For pregnancy and childbirth the focus is on moms, which it should be in a lot of ways,” says Brott, whose children range in age from eight to 20. “But dads don’t have to be excluded. Our transition to being a parent is just as profound as the mom’s. We have an entirely new life and worldview and there’s very little for us in terms of social support.”

These days, in addition to writing a syndicated newspaper advice column, “Ask Mr. Dad,” and running MrDad.com, Brott is hosting a weekly radio show called “Positive Parenting” which is broadcast in several major U.S. markets and in 177 countries on American Forces Network. He said he enjoyed Due Date, especially how it managed to touch on a number of issues associated with new dads. “It was a little like my book ‘The Expectant Father,’” Brott says, “but without delving as deep.”

THE PLOT “Due Date begins with a chance meeting — make that a collision — between Peter (Downey) and Ethan (Galifianakis) at the Atlanta airport and it goes downhill fast. [He laughs.] The guys are both traveling to Los Angeles, and because of an incident they’re thrown off their flight and have to drive across country. Peter needs to get home to his wife, Sarah (Michelle Monaghan), who’s about to give birth to their first child, and Ethan, an aspiring actor who just lost his dad, is almost like Peter’s trial baby. He needs to be reminded to ‘go pee-pee’ before they hit the road. He also carries around his dog, Sonny, like a security blanket.”

BABY NAMES “From the beginning, you can see Peter is nervous about the birth of his first child. The first shot of the movie is Peter in bed talking about a strange dream he had, some stuff about a bear taking his place in the delivery room. It’s one of several long, rambling voicemails he leaves for Sarah. There’s a scene where he asks, ‘Did you get my message?’ And she says, ‘I did. I’m about halfway through it and I thought I’d take a little break.’

“One of the things he’s eager to discuss is what they’re going to name the baby. It can be tough for a mom and a dad to come to an agreement. Peter is against gender-neutral names, like Casey and Tyler. He also doesn’t want to name the child after someone famous because it can end up being a joke or put a lot of pressure on the kid.

“Think about what it must have been like for Elvis Costello growing up. Or what if you name your child Martin Luther King Smith? What you’re saying is I like this person and I want you to grow up to be like him. You’re putting the kid in the position where he’s going to feel like he disappointed his parents or himself or the world at large, if he can’t live up to the expectations that go along with the name.”

PIT STOP “The scene in Alabama at the pot dealer’s house, where Peter is put in the role of babysitter while Ethan acquires his ‘glaucoma medicine,’ tells you how ill-prepared Peter is for fatherhood.
“What’s funny is the set-up. The dope-dealing mom (Juliette Lewis) is a horrible parent. She’s dealing weed out of her kitchen. I mean, what can be more irresponsible? Then you drop in Peter, who should be a contrast. It’s like anybody could do a better job of taking care of the kids than her! But you know what? He does even worse! [He laughs.]

“When Peter walks in, the kids are watching TV and he just sits down. He doesn’t know what to do or what to talk about and when he insults the girl, her brother, who’s maybe 9, hurls a toy at his head in retaliation. Peter ends up sucker punching the boy. You think, oh my god, if this is what he thinks you do with kids.

“What’s interesting is a lot of expectant dads go through this phase of looking at other kids. I mean, long looks at other kids. They’re thinking, what am I going to do with this thing? What am I going to do when my kid gets this old? So he probably should have taken advantage of having a kid around just to see what they’re like. What do kids do, what do they think, because he clearly has no idea.”

IS IT MINE? “The movie was really good at highlighting issues that come up for dads during pregnancy, and a lot of it was done in a funny way. For instance, there’s this fear guys have — and it’s a completely irrational one, most of time — that the baby is not theirs.

“At one point, Peter and Ethan stop in Dallas to visit Peter’s best friend, Darryl (Jamie Foxx), who is an athlete of some kind. He’s a very wealthy guy. Good-looking. As it turns out, Darryl used to date Peter’s wife, Sarah, in college and the two have obviously maintained a close friendship. On Darryl’s coffee table is a picture of him and Sarah having a good time, sharing a mai tai or something, in San Diego. Darryl says the picture was taken in February, which Ethan pointedly remarks was nine months ago. Throughout the scene, Ethan is picking at the whole thing, insinuating that Sarah and Darryl may have exchanged more than just emails in San Diego.

[Spoiler Alert!] “What the director does here, rather nicely, is articulate the fears that many first-time dads just think about. One of the funniest moments is toward the end of the movie when Peter barges into the wrong delivery room. That had to be every guy’s worst nightmare.” [End Spoiler Alert]

DADDY ISSUES “After a run-in with a paralyzed Western Union clerk and then having to sleep in the rental car because Ethan spent nearly all of their money on weed, Peter dumps Ethan at a rest stop. He takes off in the car and he’s not coming back. Then he looks down and sees the coffee can that Ethan has been toting around with his father’s ashes. I thought it was one of the most poignant scenes in the movie. Peter stops on the freeway and he’s going to discard the ashes but first he starts to say this little eulogy and there’s a moment when he probably begins to think about his own father, who was absent, and how important a father is in someone’s life. Ethan’s dad was important to Ethan so Peter goes back. I thought that was a well-done scene.

“There’s this process expectant dads go through of examining their relationship with their own father. They think about how it’s going to affect, in a positive or negative way, their relationship with their own kids. Nobody gets away without thinking of this stuff. So that’s a whole other piece to the movie. It’s about both ends of fatherhood: becoming a dad and then what it’s like to lose a father.

“Peter and Ethan’s relationship is troubling. During the trip, Peter is shot, arrested and has his arm broken. But the guys somehow end up as friends, very good friends. I’m trying to suspend disbelief, but I’m not completely sure I buy it.”

TAGS: ARMIN BROTT, DUE DATE, MR. DAD, ROBERT DOWNEY JR., TODD PHILLIPS, ZACH GALIFIANAKIS

posted in Fathers, Men

Mar 01 2011

Another case of knee-jerk suspicion

Read this Fox News story carefully–especially the part in bold at the end. It’s important to keep in mind that over 90 percent of allegations of abuse that come up during divorce proceedings turn out to be false.

Father Turns Himself In After California Amber Alert Saying He Took His Two Daughters

A California father turned himself in to authorities after an Amber Alert was issued Monday for his two girls based on allegations he had threatened to harm them.

The girls were returned safely after reports that 34-year-old Stephen Litwin had abducted them from their home in Bellflower, Calif.

It is unclear whether Litwin will face charges, and police are investigating whether the girls’ mother made up the story about their father, ABC 4 reported.

Source: Published February 28, 2011 | FoxNews.com

posted in Fathers, Men

Feb 27 2011

Probably the Understatement of the Year

People always talk about the British being understated. Well, the comment by a 9-year old Australian girl (okay, Australia got its start as a British penal colony) which originally appeared here, from pretty much rivals anything from Winston Churchill.

9-year-old Australian girl saves father from drowning
Melbourne, Feb 25 : A nine-year-old Australian girl has saved her father from dying in the pool.

Cary Peak and his daughter Maddison, who were at a resort in Cairns, were playing in a pool and doing somersaults when Peak hit his head and was knocked out, the Cairns Post reports.

Maddison saw her father floating face down and said she initially thought he was playing games, but then suddenly realised it was real and swam to his rescue, rolling him over.

“I just lifted him up and swam to the step. I dragged him by his shoulders, he was heavy,” News.com.au quoted Maddison as saying of helping her father, who weighs nearly 100kg.

“He just went white.”

Her father came to on the step and Maddison held his hand and led him out of the pool where he began vomiting water.

“I”m very proud, 10 more seconds and I reckon I would’ve been dead,” Peak said.

“That would’ve sucked,” Maddison replied.

posted in Fathers, Men

Feb 17 2011

The Darth Vader Superbowl Commercial

Darth Vader/VW

What a fantastic commercial. Almost makes me want to rush out and get a VW.

posted in Fathers

Feb 11 2011

Toy Fair here we come!

Just got into New York. It’s absolutely freezing here. Fortunately were inside most of the day checking out the 1,000+ exhibitors. Stay tuned for some very cool stuff….

posted in Uncategorized

Jan 28 2011

We’re Expanding

Just got word that my radio show, “Positive Parenting,” which currently airs on 10 stations around the US, will now be broadcast by the Armed Forces Radio Network. AFRN is runs on every embassy, military base, and naval vessel in 177 countries. Stay tuned for new developments.

posted in Uncategorized

Jan 20 2011

Double Standard Anyone?

Yet another example of the differences between the ways society rates mothers and fathers.

On January 11, Amy Chua’s book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom hit stores. Chua’s book, which describes her extremely strict approach to parenting her children. She’s been on the Today show, interviewed in Time magazine, and has generally been the talk of the town.

Here’s an excerpt from the Time mag piece:

“The first thing Chua wants you to know is that she is not a monster. “Everything I do as a mother builds on a foundation of love and compassion,” she says. Love and compassion, plus punishingly high expectations: this is how Chua herself was raised. Though her parents are ethnically Chinese, they lived for many years in the Philippines and immigrated to America two years before Chua was born. Chua and her three younger sisters were required to speak Chinese at home; for each word of English they uttered, they received a whack with a pair of chopsticks. On the girls’ report cards, only A’s were acceptable. When Chua took her father to an awards assembly at which she received second prize, he was furious. “Never, ever disgrace me like that again,” he told her.”

Of course, not all the coverage has been positive, but generally speaking, Chua is looked at as a courageous woman, unafraid to take a controversial position, to demand excellence from her children.

Contrast that with what happened to a dad in Australia, who had very much the same attitude. According to an article in the Herald Sun, “The father of three pushed his two daughters to complete homework above their academic level. He tutored them in the hope of winning private school scholarships…. His demands were driven by a desire for his children to have the best education because he came from an impoverished background in Vietnam, court documents show.”

Far from being heralded as a national hero, this dad has been banned by the court by making any decisions about his children. Again, the Tiger Mom has taken some flak–but no one has suggested removing her from her kids’ lives.

So…. why is it okay for a mother to be a hard ass with her kids, but not for a father?

posted in Fathers, Mothers

Jan 11 2011

It really is possible to make posts with my iPhone

Amazing what you can do these days…

posted in Uncategorized

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