We’re Looking for Great Content for Military Families

Brott, Military FatherAs the military families expert for about.com, I’m always on the lookout for organizations, programs, and practical advice and strategies that can help our military servicemembers, spouses, and kids.

If you have any suggestions, recommendations, and even guest posts, I’d love to share them with our readers. So please email me.

In the meantime, feel free to peruse the site, http://militaryfamily.about.com/

I Know You Love Me, But I Need to Hear The Words

Dear Mr. Dad: My dad is an engineer and has always looked at the world in a very logical, no-feelings-allowed, Mr. Spock kind of way. I guess that’s just his style. The problem is that I don’t think he’s ever told me that he loves me. He’s always been a great dad and I have no doubt that he does love me. But as I get older—I’m nearly thirty—I start second-guessing myself and I really need to hear the words. I tell my kids all the time that I love them. Why won’t he tell me? Do you think he ever will?

A: Whenever I get an email like this, I’m nearly overcome with sadness. It’s tragic that your dad has never told you that he loves you. But I’m encouraged that he’s found other ways to get the point across and that you’ve gotten the non-verbal message. That still leaves your questions. Going in reverse order, yes, I think he will tell you, but it may take a little work on your part. As to why he hasn’t said those three magic words, there are quite a few explanations.

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Pregnancy: Is There Sex After Sex?

Dear Mr. Dad: I’m an expectant father and my sex life has completely disappeared. We’re not very far into the pregnancy but my wife seems to have lost all interest (admittedly, her throwing up a few times a day probably has something to do with that). Are we EVER going to have sex again?

A: My money’s on Yes. But you’ll have to be patient. In the first trimester, many couples experience a drop-off in their sex life. Sometimes it’s because of the mom-to-be’s nausea. Other times it’s because she’s worried that you won’t be attracted to her changing body or that having sex will hurt the baby or cause a miscarriage (that’s extremely unlikely). In some cases (though not yours) the guy truly isn’t attracted to his partner anymore or thinks that she isn’t feeling attractive and wouldn’t be interested in sex anyway. And in some cases, the whole idea that you’re about to become parents sinks in, and one or both of you starts thinking about your own parents, in bed, naked…. That can be a real mood killer.
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The Latest Articles for Military Families

I just posted a new batch of articles for military families on about.com.

This month I covered: the many ways deployment affects parents and children, strategies to help kids keep busy when a parent is deployed, understanding–and handling–rebellious teen behavior, how to make a temporary home feel like a permanent one–something many military families struggle with, and overcoming the challenges of long-distance relationships.

Please feel free to share these articles.

Dating for Dads

Dear Mr. Dad: I’ve been divorced for almost a year and I’m just getting to the point where I’m thinking about dating again. My kids (8 and 10) and I have a very close relationship and we talk about everything. But when I mentioned dating to them, instead of being happy for me, they were angry. Is there anything I can do to get them to be a little more supportive?

A: Close relationships between parents and their young children are wonderful for everyone. But occasionally lines can get blurred, which is exactly what happened with you. Your social life will undoubtedly affect your children—especially if you get into a serious relationship. But it sounds like you’ve given them the impression that their close relationship with you entitles them to an actual vote in the matter. It’s really none of their business. You’re their parent, not their friend, end of discussion.

Aside from the boundary issue, your children may simply not want to share you with anyone. It’s been just the three of you for a long time, and they enjoy having you all to themselves. Any time you spend with other people—whether it’s going out for a beer with a buddy or dating a woman who’s not their mother—is time you won’t be spending with them. You’re in a delicate spot here, but here are few steps you can take to get your kids on board (or at least to reduce their hostility).
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3 Ways to Deal With a Teen Who Really, Really Loves Video Games

mrdad - kids love video games

mrdad - kids love video gamesIt’s no secret that teenagers love video games—the Palo Alto Medical Foundation reports that 97 percent of teens in the U.S. today play video games, and sales of video games are steadily growing. However, at times, it can be hard to deal with your teen’s love of video games in a reasonable way. To help this common problem, here are just a few ways you can deal with a teenage video game fiend without losing your mind.

Set Boundaries

One of the first things you can do to head off future problems with video games is to set boundaries. Set clear times for when gaming is allowed such as after homework or chores are done or on weekends. Additionally, it’s important to be clear about the kind of game content you will allow in your home as well as games that are simply off limits. By setting these boundaries clearly and early on, you can avoid your teen pushing the limits of the rules.

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